What's more 'Merican than wanting it all? Nothing, that's what. And now, with our mixed case offering, you can have it.
That's right, baby: all five flavors of 'Merican ingenuity, know-how, and Freedom Concentrate stuffed in the same box like a dysfunctional family of four traveling a buck-10 down the I-95 in a '72 station wagon, blasting Credence Clearwater Revival while dad threatens to take away your trip to the UFO Welcome Center in Bowman, South Carolina if Jimmy doesn't stop putting the dog on the roof.
But you never liked that dog, Rover, because he ate your favorite teddy and you don't really like Jimmy either - so eff it. You join Jimmy on the roof and start wailing "Fortunate Son" using the dog like a badass dog guitar, strumming out tunes while the wind whips in your face.
And when someone asks you what that feels like, you simply answer: it feels like buying a mixed case of Red, White & BOOM.
Good times...good times, indeed.